Everyone likes to be the victim. The rich are the victims of “levelers” and the “99 percent.” Meanwhile, the “99 percent” are victims of the rich. Depending on your Christian persuasion, you are being persecuted by someone else. Diana Butler Bass finds herself having to fight against evangelicals while David Jeremiah laments that “he never thought he’d see the day.” Israel feels itself threatened by Arabs and the Arab states feel themselves threatened by … well … everyone. And obviously, they all have their cases, which is probably the problem.
Nothing loses friends and wins enemies quite like telling someone not to be a victim. Yet, if there is one thing I learned from my parents, it is not to be one. My parents came down pretty tough on me when I tried to play it and I find that life tends to do the exact same thing. This isn’t a blog telling people that they haven’t gotten bad hands dealt them or to just suck it up (much less to capitulate and roll over), but rather to think about what kind of life they are choosing.
We live in a culture that feeds on hatred. I am not talking about the kind of hatred that we think about as our pinnacle of hatred, but the subtle hatreds as well: The angry words about the person who cut you off in traffic, the poor service you received at the coffee shop (hint, hint), and even the nabob on the sports call in show. Subtly we have begun to turn away from people. We see them as nothing more than the sum of opinions. In a culture where opinion is king (or queen), did we expect anything less? And so we protect our opinions as if they were our very nature. God help any politician who comes to the bargaining table. God help the friend who speaks up for “the other political party” at a soiree we are having. God help the Christian who has a different belief than our own.
Yet again, it is important to have your opinions. It is important to understand that your opinions might be dead wrong too. However, more important than all of this, it is important for you to know that you are not the victim. There are going to be intolerant people out there, and rather than looking at it as an issue of you being persecuted by all the intolerant people, perhaps we should really look at it as “some days you are victim and some days you are victimizer.”
We are going to hurt people, but we don’t like to think about that. Whatever happened, they had it coming. We couldn’t help it. We were just being honest. Yet when the same thing happens to us, we are immediately at the Alamo. However, pride is an interesting thing. It is amazing how lonely it makes us. We don’t stop to ask ourselves, “could I be wrong here if everyone else is so sure.”
I remember the thoughts that went through my head when I decided to leave my church body. I think a lot of people (on both sides) thought I had made the decision in haste because of a knee-jerk reaction to a single issue. I worried about that myself. Later when I decided to leave my seminary it was less because of being angry and more because I wanted to find a place that would teach me to focus on my strengths. Do I think I am victim? Of course. I am human. Its what we do. But the fortunate thing is that I know that I am very proud person and very proud people succumb to victimization much more whole-heartedly. I am thankful that I know I am proud because its like an alcoholic who has made peace with that particular vice.
My point here is that we should never be defined by what we are not, but who we wish to become. I am not saying that if your goal is to become a thief or a murderer, than you have my blessing; but I am saying that human beings were created to be more than just victims. Augustine said God is forever changing and changeless. If we are made in the image of God, doesn’t a little of that rub off on us.
When I was in Haiti, I saw poverty that would put any American to shame. I found a people that indulged in the same virtues and vices as we in the first world enjoy. However, what marked the truly amazing Haitians is the same thing that marks any truly amazing human being. They allowed their circumstances to mold them, without allowing them to control them. They felt pain and pleasure, happiness and sadness, love and loss; but they felt it as a human being and not as a victim. And if the noblest of the poor can weather the cruel storms of life, perhaps there is hope for us “wealthier victims.”
I am not going to lie to any of you out there. I still feel it. There is that nudge of pride that tells me to say that I am a victim and worthy of your sympathy. Yet I realize that if I indulge in that, I will lose a great deal. I will lose friends and loved ones. I will lose the ability to share my hope, faith, and love with people that I care about. We must always take a stand, but that doesn’t mean we should unnecessarily make ourselves pariahs. Jesus exemplified this best. He was willing to be with anyone and humble with everyone. The people who were victims in Jesus’ day never heard Jesus reinforce their victim-hood, but rather fight against their injustice. The ultimate victim took on the ultimate injustice and showed us all how to fight it properly. We must be willing to sacrifice our dignity, our reputations, and our very lives for what we believe is right.
