They say the grass is always greener on the other side, and I would be inclined to agree with them if my cursed intellect wouldn't get the better of me all the time. Single people lament their married friends. College kids wondering "now what?" seem to look enviously at their compatriots making a killing or at least a living. I often want a little more faith, or wealth, or at the very least some tip from the fates who seem so unwilling to bless me.
However, when I examine my life I have to admit that I am more blessed than I can even imagine. Air, food, and a very good nation are things to be thankful for; but these things escape my mind all too often. We want more and more, and I often wonder why our appetites are not fulfilled by the gifts that we always have laid at our feet.
I suppose it is because I act like a glutton that I am not thankful. I make deals that if I just have one more thing that I do not have, then I will be happy. When I was younger, allowances and paper-route money came in such a small trickle; but I would save up for some video game or any number of things. I remember the happiness of finally being able to buy that item I desired, and yet I experienced more happiness in fulfilling the goal than in the item I would buy. Now, with such items being so easily bought, I wonder if I have lost the subtle joys that come softly and without fanfare, from patiently waiting.
There is a Yiddish proverb, that says, "God will provide, but only if He would until He does." I feel that way so much of the time. Patience is taught us by being patient. It seems comical that we learn so fully how to do something by doing that thing; but life seems to be built like that while our society seems to recoil at such tough earned knowledge.
I know that there are things I do better than my friends or gifts that my friends look upon as enviously as I look upon theirs. I know the deep sadness of the void that visits my heart, but I also know there are worse things than not getting what one wants.
In the story "The Monkey's Paw," a family is granted wishes by a sacred relic. However, while they get their heart's desire, they do not get it the way they expect. They wish for money, and the parents only son is killed at work, allowing them to collect a check for the sum. How often do we look back on our lives and feel glad that our dream wasn't granted us? If you are anybody like me, you spend a lot less time thinking about how glad you are for plans of yours that fell through, than you do dreaming about about the green grass in someone else's lawn.
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3 comments:
Enjoyed your article. Know just what you're talking about. I also had certain images of how my life should be. I think my mistake was to not keep looking up and asking God what HE wanted for my life, instead of looking sideways to see what everyone else has. Of course, He has had a hand in my life and its course. It just would have been beneficial to my peace had I stopped to align my wants to His will. Take the short cut; look up, not out.
It isn't in our nature to really truly trust. We are always wanting the security blanket of our reason. I know I do it all the time. Of course the best, least problematic, and most logical route is trusting God; but you know...doing things our way offers us a kind of scenic route. Jonah and Paul and come to think of it, all of us, know all about taking the scenic route to God. I agree with what you are saying, if only I could follow through.
You're right. I am too hasty to discredit the long route. If it hadn't been for my experiences and disappointments, maybe I wouldn't be where I am today. These experiences make up who I have become. So, to give such simplistic advice was probably not as wise as it first sounded to myself. How else are we going to know God's will for our lives if we don't test the waters? It's your journey to discover and enjoy.
Sorry for meddling. Just the "mom" sort of thing to do.
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